Archive for August 2006

Hello there, children

August 14, 2006

Hey, Chef.

Domino’s put a circular in my junk mail today. Buy a pizza and get free brownies. Strange enough if it were left at that, but it gets better. The trademarked name of these brownies is “Fudgems.” If you remember the Chocolate Salty Balls episode of South Park, you will remember that Fudgems was a snack that Chef invented.

My favorite was I Just Went and Fudged Your Mama brand snacks.

Goddamn scientology. If it weren’t for them bastard assholes, Chef would still be making salisbury steak for us all.

Episode 24 is up

August 14, 2006

Episode 23 is up

August 13, 2006

Learn how to get me to eat brussels sprouts at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS88sLh4STQ.

Poker hand story

August 12, 2006

As Episode 22 will tell you, I played cards last night. I was in a 2-4 game because my friend’s wife is (and has, I suppose) a pussy. I had 10-6 of clubs on the button and there were four limpers so I figured what the hell. The small blind raises, but everyone stays in. Now the post has 14 small bets in it.

The flop had Jc and Qc, but they were both overcards, which is huge, because it makes it more likely that I have the best flush draw. If you hit a second-best flush with two suited hole cards and three on the boards, there is only a 6 percent chance that someone else has the nut flush. Well, I had the third-best flush draw, so I felt pretty good about it.

The small blind bets, and three people call. I decide to raise to buy a free card and build a pot. Well the idiot small blind three-bets it, so two people get out before it gets back to me. I just call. I know there aren’t going to be any free cards in this hand!

The turn is a 10. The small blind bets and we both call. The river is an offsuit 6, giving me a well-disguised two pair. The small blind bets again, the other guy folds.

This is why it is so important to read the board. What hands beat me? A straight? Well, if he had AK, KT or T9, he would not have three bet the flop. Trips? He’s not going to three bet the flop because he is not scared. When you three bet the flop it is because you are trying to scare people out of the hand so they do not draw out on you. Yes QcJcXx on the flop shows a straight draw, but if you have trips, you’re similarly likely to hit a full house or quads when the board pairs. You aren’t worried about a straight or flush hitting, and you know a reraise is not going to drive out those drawing hands anyway, especially at a 2-4 table.

What if he has a better two pair? QJ would normally not be raised out of the small blind, but it is possible in a 2-4 game. I would have expected a check raise on the flop with this hand, however. Remember, seven people were in. Someone will bet, and if you’re in the small blind, you know someone will bet, even though you raised out of position preflop.

What if he has a big pocket pair? Bingo. Of course he would raise preflop with aces or kings, and of course he would jam the pot on the flop and attempt to on the turn. This board just made his hand worse and worse as more cards were dealt. Well, there is no shame in rivering someone because when you lose the hand, you lose the hand.

So where were we? Yes, he bet on the river and the other guy folded. With all this in mind, I clearly had to raise. He called, I showed my motley two pair, and he threw his aces face up in the muck. This was the hand that made my session a winner. We had been joking all night about how I would play any hand in the small blind for a dollar, but after that hand, he did not speak to me again.

Episode 22 is up

August 12, 2006

I was going to talk about a great hand, but I ran out of time. So instead it’s a volleyball and poker recap. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRtzqHpaFh8.

Beans and RSS

August 11, 2006

When I win the lottery, I am going to travel the Bay Area and review burritos. It’ll be totally indexed, so you’ll be able to click on a city and a neighborhood. It will then have reviews of all the burritos I’ve eaten. What a way to live!

Episode 21 is up

August 11, 2006

Check out my official retirement from the world of sports cards, plus Savannah the cat and another opinion on the World Series of Poker’s Main Event, all at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8UvWHUMrWc.

Episode 20 is up

August 10, 2006

I was a bit tired when I made this. It’s hard to sleep in the heat, dammit. Luckily things are returning to normal, and I’ll be peppier soon. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKn31wLw4rg.

Why baseball cards are worthless

August 10, 2006

There are a few errors in the piece, but the idea is there. This is also a ripoff of a similarly written one for Yahoo that came out a few weeks back.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/08/10/MNG42KF3211.DTL

Episode 19 is up

August 9, 2006

Savannah might as well be Ed McMahon, Nintendo wrestling games evoke memories, and Sony is going to receive a visit from the big me. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPQW-r8PrlE.