Today's featured shit

These guys are very Japanese. They should not be confused with your run-of-the-mill Japanese punk bands. These guys actually have most of their songs be under two minutes. Musically, it sounds like a lot of American noise bands.

“Ladykiller” reminds me of “Berserker” by Olaf in “Clerks.” You know. The one in which the woman says, “Did he just say ‘making fuck’?” Similarly, I can’t tell whether there is swearing in “Ladykiller,” either, but it sounds like it.

“Besame My Love” also attempts to be vulgar, and honestly, it’s worth a listen just to hear him sing the word “penis.” Fans of Convalescent Surprise will love this one. Lots of tempo change, alternating thrash and yelling with quiet balladeering. In “Ki=Chinchin” they sing “Take Off Your Pants,” making the song an ideal candidate for a future “No Pants” compilation.

“www.porno.net” is another song with sneaky lyrics. It’s hard to understand but then you hear “lesbian.” Yep. I also like “II” because he sings a bunch of numbers in a row. I don’t think that is what they mean by “math rock.”

This sort of reminds me of Cirque du Soleil music. A lot of instruments that are foreign to me, such as cellos, harps and other instruments that aren’t pianos, keyboards, guitars and drums. (But they have most of those, too.) The result is very beautiful music that will languish in the background if you let it.

“Let the Crows Fly” is a real Point A to Point B song. It reminds me of the Cranes, only with fewer keyboards and a more normal singer. It’s not gothic, but fans of the genre would enjoy this temple-sounding music.

“Bee Forms” has a similar melody to “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy. I am not sure who thought of this first, but it wasn’t me. The whole song doesn’t use this melody; it’s more than seven minutes long. But stick it out long enough, and you too will be both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor.

“Desert Mind” makes good use of the organ (or is it an accordion?) to play with your mind. This is definitely an album that would sound different under the influence of illegal substances.

I refer to the underwear I wear when I am getting some as “victory shorts.” Not really, but I think I will now. Absentee are quite present on this full-length offering of standard modern rock fare, reminiscent of mainstream Sebadoh, only with fleeting female backing vocals.

“The Nurses Don’t Notice a Thing” has great back-and-forth jangly guitar and vocals. I don’t know what the song is about, but it’s a lot of fun. I would love to play this on Rock Band. It’s just so smooth and easy.

Sometimes the lead singer gets a little carried away with his gravelly voice, however. “Love Has Had Its Way” is almost a little too dry and scratchy, like those towels in the motel room in the Verizon Wireless commercial. “We Smash Plates” sounds like the same song. They are both ballads, but they are also indistinguishable.

I am happiest with Melinda Bronstein’s backing vocals. They complement the lead singer’s voice well but also would stand alone if given the chance.

Other than uneven singing and quirky songwriting, this album is just fine. Unfortunately, this is a singer/songwriter.

Frida Hyvonen sounds as if she is trying too hard on “Silence Is Wild.” Strangely, the most memorable song shows a lack of effort. Listen to “Dirty Dancing” and then “Pork and Beans” by Weezer. The melodies are the same! I am pretty sure this is a coincidence. The song itself is actually pretty heartfelt and will remind some of Paula Cole.

“Why Do You Love Me So Much” is a soul-baring song, so I really oughtn’t be critical of it. Must. Resist. The. Urge. OK. There it goes. “Scandinavian Blonde” is sort of flirty, but I think that, considering there is an umlaut in her last name, it’s a bit over the top. It’s as if she is asking for us to compare her to Ikea. I refuse.

“Birds” is the best song on the album. It sounds like an old Patti Smyth song, only with keyboards. I’d like to hear more like this. The rest of the songs sound dangerously similar, with a ton of piano. The melody of “Oh Shanghai” sounds like a standard Chinese melody. Maybe Weezer was a coincidence, but this isn’t.