Today's featured shit

This two-disc compilation has something for everyone. The first CD has the album category winners. Highlights include “The Next Station Is: Shibuya,” winner of the dance/electronica category. Torpedo Boyz provide that one. It’s a bit lounge-y, so don’t expect to be twirling your glow sticks to this one.

The Cute Lepers won the punk category with “Cool City.” It’s a cool, cute song. I guess it sounds like the Clash, but it is far too upbeat for me to consider it punk. It’s punk that a sorority sister would listen to. I guess if that’s what you want, then bully for you.

Rebecca Martin, winner of folk/singer-songwriter, sings “A Million Miles,” which is not so much folk as it is slow. It’s very mellow and would sound better with a jazz accompaniment.

The Redwalls are the big winner here, although for the record the category they won was “college record label.” This is a legitimate song that you ought to hear. It has it all. “Modern Diet” might be about Japanese Parliament, but I doubt it. It’s still a good song. Don’t overlook blues winner Jeff Healey, either. He always provides a solid effort.

The second CD comprises the song category winners. The Jazz winner is from John Ricci, and “Mode Time” sounds fine to me. Lucy Wainwright Roche brings us the folk/singer-songwriter winner, “Snare Drum.” It’s very good for what it is, and even still listenable on a level playing field.

The pop/rock winner is “Colors” by April Smith. It has hooks, but that’s as far as I’d let it go. The dance/electronica winner is “Say You Love Me” by Velvet Code. It has some Depeche Mode stylings in it, but it is quite harmless. I guess to win awards you don’t want to be too imaginative. The Punk winner was “Defenders of the Faith” by A Kid Hereafter. It’s too bad it didn’t win the contemporary Christian category. Oh well. It’s a fun rock opera that does not apologize for being churchy. Play this for Queen fans when they are drunk. The actual winner of the contemporary Christian category? “More” by Jade Ambroze. It sounds quite secular. Maybe a recount is in order.

“Hold Me in Your Arms” by The Trews was the hard rock/metal winner. It sounds like Lenny Kravitz.

This isn’t bad. It’s inspired by your good friends at Pretty Girls Make Graves camp. The big difference is that the songs are short. So they’re SHORT, anthemic and plodding. For those that think this type of music isn’t actually building to anything at all, then you’re in luck, because these songs end right away.

We’ve all heard female-fronted garage rock before. This could very easily make you very happy. Some of the tracks are slower, such as “Bombay Sapphire.” It sounds like a Hole reject. The faster stuff definitely works better for them. The guitar on a lot of these tracks even reminds me of Red Aunts, but the pace of the songs is too slow, and the songs are too long. (Red Aunts famously wrote “14 songs 23 minutes” on the back of one of their albums.

“Los Angeles” stands out. It sounds like a Velocity Girl song, and we can never have enough of that. This is one of the best tracks on the album. “I’m a Ninja” is fun, and “Loser” has good backing vocals. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, but I bet they are fantastic live.