Today's featured shit

Remember in the mid-’90s after Nine Inch Nails broke and White Zombie was trying to do this weird hardcore industrial rock thing? Well, it took 15 years, but The Qemists figured out how to do it.

“On the Run” was the song that everyone tried to make but failed miserably at doing. One listen of this song, and you’re on the roof of Carlos Bee Hall, lying on lawnchairs you stole from the pool at Wimbledon Woods. No, you come up here and tell me to get down.

“Dem Na Like Me” is a similar song, although it has a bit more of an urban feel. “Drop Audio” is more along the lines of Machines of Loving Grace. For a while we all thought Prodigy would sound like this, but instead they went off to smack their bitches up. It’s our loss.

“When Ur Lonely” takes away all the pretense and decides to have both drums and bass. Listen closely, and you will swear you’re hearing Underworld.
If you’re into that mid-’90s fake dance music that had both guitars and beats, look no further. This is it, and it’s the shit.

If it were a cookbook, then Angus could justify his top billing. Instead, listening to this album leaves me wondering, “Where’s the beef?”

There’s nothing wrong with this slightly upbeat, marginally catchy collection of folk not named Nick. “Mango Tree” is as good a song as any. The increased tempo partway through the song makes it quite listenable.

The better songs feature Julia’s singing. I know, you’re shocked that I would say that. But “Private Lawns” not only features great pipes, the lyrics are actually intelligent and fun. It really is a package deal. This is the direction we all wanted Jewel to go in, but instead she decided to stiff the Alaska state fair, and the rest is history.

“The Beast” is not about Anthony Forrette’s old Cadillac. It’s a chipper number that wastes no time burrowing itself in your heart like a maggot on a corpse. “Paper Aeroplane” has the same beat as “O Baby” by Siouxsie and the Banshees.

“Hollywood” brings to mind The Innocence Mission. There is nothing wrong Angus’ voice. “Just a Boy” in fact does a great job of mixing his voice with the accompaniment. But Julia simply overpowers any track she has lead vox in.

It’s a benefit compilation, this time for the Red Hot Organization. I was trying to make Red Hot brownies for Valentine’s Day at work, and unfortunately all Target had were Hot Tamales, so instead they were Hot Tamale brownies, and good desserts should never rhyme. Less than three weeks later, I lost my job. You do the math.

Pretty straightforward stuff. I like Feist, so I like “Train Song,” which also features Ben Gibbard. I enjoy Bon Iver, and I like “Bracket, WI.” See how this works?

“Inspiration Information” by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings reminds me of a ’60s Motown classic. Such oldies are bound to make the cholas horny. If you’re going on a beer run, this is the song for you.

“Knotty Pine” is also fun. Let’s thank Dirty Projectors and David Byrne (no relation to Liz) for that. The singing is as if the lead singer from Bettie Serveert drank a pot of coffee and then went to the studio.