Today's featured shit

Perhaps riding the coattails of Nous Non Plus’ success, Plastiscines visit us from the country that also brought us the Coneheads: France. It sounds exactly what a new modern rock record would sound like. Ferocious hooks and danceable oomph characterize this exhumation of Sahara Hotnights’ body. Sure, the furniture in the room has been modernized (backing harmonies on “Barcelona” are to die for), but it’s otherwise the same thing we’ve heard and loved before.
“Bitch” obviously will become the band’s anthem, which shortchanges them a bit, but such is life in the discerning music world. Music aficionados may hold themselves in high regard, but there is nothing glamorous about standing outside in the rain smoking a Camel Light and talking about how you’re going to spend Daddy’s money this month.
If you took a standard all-woman rock band and went in the Pipettes’ direction, you’d be on the opposite side of Plastiscines. Both succeed at their respective niches, but they are quite different. And while a pipe may bring water from the river to your house, plasticine makes you Gumby.
“You’re No Good” is a Linda Ronstadt cover. The passion that made the original so great is lacking in this version, which has about as much power as “T.K.O.” by Le Tigre. In other words, it’s a disappointment on an otherwise solid effort.
This band can’t spell, whether it’s the name of the band itself or songs such as “Runnaway.” To me, it all adds up to a band that looks good live, and who cares what they sound like? I hope they’re saving their money, or else they will go down the same path as Republica.

Why did I pick this album? There’s nothing wrong with it. They’re another indie rock band, this time from Detroit. The songs have good harmonies and musicianship. But nothing really stands out to me. We get 20 CDs like this in the mail every week. There’s no shortage of good man rock out there.
“Howl at the Moon” is a bit catchier than the rest. It’s the kind of stuff you can listen to with your girlfriend. The keyboards make it better. “It’s Going to Be O.K.” uses a ’70s-style organ. Maybe I have trouble getting into this because it reminds me of my parents, but my psychiatric review has already been written today.
“I Don’t Need Anything Except You” reminds me of “Singing in My Sleep” by Semisonic. It just moves along, the same way as the carpool lane moves during rush hour. It feels a lot faster than it really is. And after two minutes and 12 seconds, it’s over.
“Setting Sun” sounds like a Better Than Ezra song, but I guess they all do. “Time of My Life” is the last track and causes me to say “good riddance.” Really, it’s not that bad, and if this album were a beer, it would be Budweiser: predictable and secretly owned by a company in Europe.

How do you not compare this to Julia Lau? I mean, it’s an Asian woman playing a piano and several other instruments. Well, it’s more likely that Tran can play tien len, and that’s the tiebreaker in my awesomeness hierarchy.
One of the reasons I have a lot of respect for her (really, that first paragraph is a sign of respect, honest) is because she took on music late in life, at 21. Maybe she had the same problem as a child that I did, meaning her mom told her she couldn’t sing and had no musical talent. I’m very happy that she decided to take up singing and performing, regardless of what motivated her to do it. It’s a rare regret that I have, instead being relegated to writing about others’ exploits. Well, there’s always Rock Band.
(Writing can be therapeutic as well as transparent. See?)
Perhaps her happy ending is because she is actually from Edmonton, and when she realized that her hockey team was no good, she decided to move to the Bay Area so she could follow a real team. Maybe she will get to sing the national anthem at a Sharks game if Greg Kihn can’t stay up that late.
There’s so many nice things to say about Tran the person. (You should see the one sheet and letter. Why can’t every promoter do it this way? And she is self-promoting! She should consider this as a career, but I bet she has a day job at Lockheed or some shit and makes six figures as a project manager.) But what about Tran the singer/songwriter? I like that aspect of her as well.
“Kites” is fun. It sounds like Aimee Mann. “All” is a bit silly at the end. And I love silly. But it doesn’t really work here. I think her music is naturally serious, so it merely detracts. Perhaps she should make a double album so she can then indulge in her whims as appropriate.
“Love Underwater” is ear candy. This is one you need the headphones for to truly appreciate. The keyboards and cello (is it?) augment the song nicely. This might be the best song on the album. “Trust Me” has the same piano as “Brick” by Ben Folds Five.
The other inevitable piano analogy is going to be the one with Suddenly, Tammy. Generally, Tran does not sound the same as them because she plays the guitar. But for fans of that sound, “Cannot Reach You” will please you greatly.
The tracks at the end are usually the experimental ones, and that’s no different here. “Safety Nets” has more of a Barbara Manning feel. If she wants to go in this direction, she’ll be just as successful. The talent level is undeniable on almost the entire album.

Well, this is fun. Is Minneapolis the new Portland? First Sick of Sarah and now The Shortcuts. It’s what would happen if Dance Hall Crashers stopped pretending to be ska and got rid of their ginging guitars. “Nothing New” is the first track and epitomizes pop punk. “Alienist” does the same thing.
This is an EP, by the way. I’d sure like to hear a full-length. “Omaha” sounds like a Go Betty Go song, although it’s less melodic and sassy. It’s too cold for sass up there anyway. And I’m sure the band is thrilled that Brett Favre stayed retired.
“Die Young” is a standard Fat Wreck Chords punk song, even though this EP is self-released. And “Ghost” exists so there can be five tracks. Maybe I don’t want a full-length. If they can bottle the energy of the first two tracks and make a whole album out of it, The Shortcuts will really be on to something.

This is great stuff. And if you’re wondering, it’s pronounced “dough.” “Playground Hustle” sounds like a happy Le Tigre song, sort of a “Friendship Station” without the sneer. “At Last” sounds like newer Cardigans, but not in an insulting way.
Other tracks remind me of another ’90s band: Ruby. Although this band is much more chipper than they were, the voice is the same. “The Bridge Is Broken” is a good example of this. So is “Tammie.”
The band is French, by the way. So I am guessing that that is the language “Unissassi Laulelet.” It has a similar style to Petra Haden’s “Moonmilk,” except with instruments thrown in.
Perhaps 15 tracks was too many. A few of these songs should have been relegated for EP B-sides. I’m talkin’ to you, “On My Shoulders” and “Aha.”
If you stick with the better songs, there’s something for everyone, especially if you came of age in the mid-90s or are a fan of Evanescence.