Today's featured shit

Songs about the mail? Hell yeah. It all starts on “Damascus.” I am glad she voted Yes on 2, but I wonder how she knew about it. Chop Chop make me happy with their accidental topicality. There’s nothing transparent about them on “Screens.”

This is more standard female-fronted indie pop, but there is enough of an edge, thanks to the drum machines, that makes it more than worthwhile to listen to. More than cutting celery stalks into bite-size pieces, Chop Chop give one pause on such breathtaking tracks as Serial Killer.

Some of the songs are a little too brooding for me, but not “C Train David.” If the C Train leaves in the morning, then lead singer Catherine Cavanagh must be Sheena Easton, singing about her baby. The uptempo nature of this track is definitely the direction that Chop Chop should be going in.

“Goon Shoe Drop” does this Book of Love thing, which is kind of nice, because Book of Love don’t exist anymore. This song reminds me of “Chatterbox, Part 2” and “Witchcraft.”

Like the air bubbles on the floral design on the wall, Wallpaper have pop. Even the album title, “On the Chewing Gum Ground,” makes one think of bubblegum rock. This can’t be a coincidence.

I’m a sucker for anything on K Records. They just never let me down. This is no exception. Sure, I wish there were angsty women singing, but there is nothing wrong with the album as it is. “Solar Panel Sleeve” has good backing vocals and harmonies. It doesn’t have as much jangle as one would think, but it’s still quite nice.

“Nod Off” also has these some poppy sensibilities and seems to be trapped in the pre-grunge early 90s, like a Supergrass album. “Pop Rocket” is just that–an excuse for me to use “pop” in the review again. Talk about keyword density.

“Vertigo Jane” would be great on a hot summer day, when even your cat doesn’t feel like chasing the aluminum foil ball. This song also is typical of the West Coast sound. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for the keyboard.

Hey, it’s the band that did the song in the original iPhone commercial! Yep. That is what Orba Squara will always be known as. The song is actually called “Perfect Timing (This Morning).” And there are words! It’s not just a 30-second song. Give it a try.

“So Comfortable” reminds me of Kristin Hersh, only kinder and gentler. I always wanted her to be a compassionate conservative, and finally my wish comes true. Like the rest of the album, there are peaceful instruments and soothing lyrics.

“My Favorite Song” isn’t my favorite song, but it doesn’t suck either. Really, a lot of these songs run together. One time, I fast forwarded through a song, and a 20-second jump through the track resulted in a seamless transition. It didn’t miss a beat.

It seems unlikely that Orba Squara will be able to emerge from the shadow created by the iPhone song, but I am sure they made so much money that it doesn’t really matter.

An excellent use of keyboards, In Silico swing every which way they can on “Pendulum.” “Propane Nightmares” must be about when Hank Hill goes on vacation, and Buck Strickland goes and fucks up the store, but there’s no way to tell because the music is mixed too high for the lyrics to be understandable. It’s OK. This music is designed to be played between bands at clubs. It’s really great stuff, promise. The nice thing is that you’ll know right away whether you like it.

These songs are all really long. “Midnight Runner” exemplifies the distinct mid-90s feel of the entire album. Remember when industrial was popular? That. However, it uses drum machines in a more… maybe not jungle… but definitely not in the clove smoking way that Assemblage 23 would inspire. The random keyboard in this track has a distinctly Bemani feel and makes me want to take the glow sticks out of the time capsule.

“Different” offers more of the same, but that’s fine. The music strokes very well. The lyrics are more audible on this track, and it paints a fun story. All in all, more electronic goodness. My girlfriend says there is a complete lack of rage, almost as if Dave Grohl were singing. I like that.

Yes, Virginia, there is a genre called “nerdcore.” He is it, and it is him, slim with a tilted pocket protector.

A little bit of everything, like when Homer Simpson ate sushi for the first time, is what you get on “Final Boss.” “Socks On” sounds like a serious song with a sound-alike Beyonce, so if you want to play something with a beat, give this a shot. It plays both kinds of music: rhythm and blues.

“The AM Radio Skit” is cute. It’s just them talking, but it has Schaffer the Darklord in it. Get a load of the Darklord. You know you want to.

“Listen Close” is your standard clever lyrics rap song. There are several of these on here, actually. It’s not just Eminem without swearing. There is some real intelligence here.

I enjoy and recommend “Wallflowers” because it goes on about Margaret Thatcher. Nothing is hotter than her, especially in this song. Plus “whom” is used correctly in the lyrics, as opposed to the use of “her” in the previous sentence. Did I mention there is a track called “Tongue-Clucking Grammarian”? There is. “Cluck U” may be long gone next to the SCU campus, but at least they saved the tongue.

This compilation has something for everyone. I keep listening to “Passenger” by Brazos, and I keep thinking something happened to Ben Folds’ ability to write lyrics. They’re just not that inspiring. But most of the tracks are pretty good.

Lucky Dragons’ “To Lilly at Age 15 20 25” is much better than Martina McBride’s “This One’s for the Girls.” You know, she sings little secret messages to women of different ages. I’d much rather listen to Lucky Dragons. It’s got great synths that blend in the background and do what danceable music should do: repeat. I am sure Lilly is going to be just fine.

The Wingdale Community Singers sing in multipart harmony and really sound like a community of singers. Perhaps when the folk singer/songwriter takes a break in December at the farmers market these guys can take her place, singing Christmas carols or holiday songs or whatever they’re called these days.

The Muslims have nothing to do with Barack Obama, natch, but “Inside Job” reminds me of a calmed down Billy Idol with keyboards in the background. I would totally dance with myself if this song were playing. It’s just so damn catchy.

How did I miss this when it came out last year? This album, like everything Club 8 does, is fantastic. Perfect for rainy days, you get 12 tracks of dreamy vocals and contemporary music. When your grandpa wants to know at Thanksgiving what you’re listening to these days instead of Benny Goodman, rip this one out while he rips one of his own.

“In the Morning” reminds me of a cover of “I’m Into Something Good” by Herman’s Hermits. It wasn’t Club 8, but it sounded like them. The Internet has nothing about this. I don’t understand. It was great! Some twee act…. Bah. Can’t remember. “Sometimes” is not a Britney Spears cover. It reminds me of Lush, with the (apparent) drum machine used on the track. Did you ever wish that Lush collaborated with Electronic circa 1991? Then this is the song for you! All it needs is Bernard Sumner.

The title track is also nice because it has harmonizing on it. You can’t go wrong with that. Those that like early Dido (1990s) will like this song. The tambourine is a nice touch. It’s a very breathy song for those of you who are into that. Definitely one of the best albums I’ve heard in a long time.

You can tell this band has been together since 2001 because it sounds as if they have not evolved, developed or any other verb that implies personal growth or metamorphosis. They’re definitely good at what they do, though, so if you’re into writing long sentences without punctuation and being upset about Jack in the Box closing the doors at 9:59 instead of 10 p.m., then this could be the band for you.

“In the Palace of TVs and Chairs” reminds me of Bush’s “Ex-Girlfriend.” It was my favorite song on “6teen Stone” because it was the shortest. “Shake” sounds a bit more modern, and I can get behind it. Most of the rest of the songs just meander along with a lot of loud guitar and forgettable lyrics. This album is great if you live in the suburbs, and your mom won’t let you use Facebook because you begged for two years to get on MySpace, and now she wants you to stick with that so you don’t think you can give up on something you worked so hard to be able to do.

I also like “Lullay.” I guess the letter “B” signifies quiet. I wonder whether this band ever performs sober. Or in front of more than eight people. I really, really doubt it.

I listened to this album five times, and it still isn’t doing a lot for me. Johnny Foreigner does a great job on “Lea Room,” but other tracks on “Waited Up Til It Was Light” leave me a bit empty. Maybe 13 tracks was a little ambitious. Perhaps a solid 10 would have been better.

“Cranes and Cranes and Cranes and Cranes” is a fun title, but the song itself is way too fast for its own good and leaves me dizzy. The chorus is slower, and it lets you catch up, and then it takes off again. A good song for pop fans, I guess, but I keep falling behind.

The talent is all in the song titles, really. “Our Bipolar Friends,” “Salt, Pepa and Spinderella” and “Yes! You Talk Too Fast” are real men of genius titles, but there is nothing underneath. The equally clever “DJ’s Get Doubts” is an exception, however. It has strings, but they don’t sound ostentatious.

“Sometimes in the Bullring” is like driving on a bumpy freeway. It’s fun, but you wonder about the harm you’re doing to your car. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. At least I tried. C-

Compilations are always fun. This one is geared for kids. There are some covers, but everything rocks. Everything.

“Nellie the Elephant” is covered by Sgt. Major. Sgt. Major makes the song its own, but it’s still clearly a cover, the best of both worlds. Venerable Visqueen shows up to cover “Centerfield.” Put them in, coach. I thought I loved this song until I realized it was the original song that I like, not the cover. It’s like those Coors Light commercials in which they splice footage from NFL press conferences with a bunch of Coors Light drinking dorks asking stupid questions. They aren’t funny. It’s the press conference clips that are.

“Holiday Dinner Song” is neat. If you’re going to a pumpkin carving party, this is a great song to play in the background. “Pumpkin squash/oh my gosh” is just a sample of the great lyrics. Want one more? OK. “Who’s the boss?/Applesauce.” Good times.

However, nothing beats “Green Up Time.” It’s a good song in its own right, but then you see it’s sung by Mirah and Tara Jane O’Neill, and it gets 300 times better. Why was there not music like this when I was a kid? I’d rather have heard this than “Frosty the Snowman.” A