Today's featured shit

I can’t believe it never occurred to me. That site is the fucking devil, I tells ya, and I don’t mean it in the good way. So at any rate, I get a request for an add and it is from some chick in Indiana, whose picture is of her in a bra with a banana between her tits.

I suppose I should be accepting all adds because there is no such thing as bad publicity, but it just didn’t feel right. I am not saying I have to know all my “friends” on MySpace, but at least be a real person and not a bot that wants to sleep with me.

I love the blue one because it smells like blueberries, but I really love the black one because it smells like ink.

I am at work trying to enjoy the air conditioning when look at what is scurrying across the carpet. I cannot get 226 pounds of force onto the ball of one foot fast enough in squashing the shit out of that damn spider.

That’s how I want to die. It’d be so quick I wouldn’t feel a thing.

The verb is “give.” Sometimes I can understand verbing nouns, but “give” is a perfectly useful verb. We just don’t need to make “gift” a verb. There are more practical ways to sound pretentious, people!

Good thing I am playing street hockey (it’s covered) and softball (not till 5:30) today.