Today's featured shit

Brad Bergesen made his major league debut and got the win, which was huge because the team had just been swept by the Red Sox. He’s worth picking up at least until the league figures him out.
Freddy Sanchez has been hot, but he is still available in a lot of leagues. He isn’t the multiposition guy he once was, but he is still worth adding if you need a middle infielder.
Ryan Doumit may never have the power he once had, now that his wrist is being treated like a voodoo doll. Jason Jaramillo is now the starter.
Surprise! Xavier Nady is not going to have surgery after all. People are dropping him left and right. In fact, most of the people who still have them are either not very good or inactive. You should be able to trade him for almost nothing because these ploppies will look and say, “oh, he is on the DL. I don’t want him anyway. I would love a bucket of curveballs for him.” Get. Nady. Now.
The Angels didn’t call up Brandon Wood so he could sit on the bench. This guy has a lot of power and should have SS eligibility. Try to find a spot for him if you can.

Yunel Escobar is back from injury and is a poor man’s Placido Polanco. Give him a shot.
Dare I say it? Mike Hampton is worth adding. He might be the best starter in Houston after Roy Oswalt. Bronson Arroyo is also worth considering. Ross Ohlendorf has a 1.11 WHIP, although yesterday clearly Florida was not paying attention.
Kazuo Matsui is back, although you shouldn’t drop someone of value just to pick him up.

I am thinking about turning this column into something that would go on bleacherreport.com. I am going to write a few other things for them and see how it goes.

Jordan Zimmerman wants to be the best Zimmerman in Nationals history but will have to settle for being the second best for now. However, someone has to get wins on that team, and it might be him.
After Kyle Davies‘ poor performance, some owners may drop him. Try to pick him up, but don’t trade anything too valuable for him. He does pitch for the Royals after all.
Ben Zobrist was just a name you heard in the playoffs last year, but he’s a useful fantasy contributor too.
I continue to be wrong about Oakland’s starting pitching. Dallas Braden did a fine job with Toronto’s offense yesterday. Feel free to pick him up. In that very same game Ricky Romero pitched even better. Given the choice, I think you add Braden, but both are excellent adds, even if just to trade down the road. One of them should end up in the All-Star game.

No issue tomorrow because I will be visiting my grandparents in Napa. Grandpa grew up in St. Louis, and the Browns/Cardinals World Series of 1944 has forever made him a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Even if he can’t pronounce Pujols, he still likes to talk about how terrible the team is and how they always get cold every summer. No, he didn’t have much to say after they won the World Series. He’d rather complain about how they couldn’t win just one game against the 2004 Boston Red Sox.

So Vladimir Guerrero is pretty hurt after all. And if he does not go on the DL, you have to waste one of your bench spots on him. So who gets the at-bats? Indirectly, it is Gary Matthews Jr. He’s worth picking up.
John Maine is one of those guys you want to stash on your bench, because at some point he will get hot. If you’re in a deep league, now is a good time to trade for him, because he is just about worthless in the eyes of many.
If you have to pick a closer in St. Louis, go for Ryan Franklin.
With Kenji Johjima on the DL, Rob Johnson will start. Finally, a catcher who knows how to take a concussion.
With Alex Gordon on the DL, Mark Teahen will play third, and Mike Aviles will man shortstop.
The John Baker/Ronny Paulino situation is officially a platoon. Baker will face the lefties.

Andy Pettitte is worth adding.
Did you forget to draft a first baseman like I did? Need something better than Casey Kotchman? Chris Duncan figured out how to hit lefties and is playing all over the place. Tony La Russa is giving him a shot, and so should you.
Similar to Dr. Dre, some people have forgotten about J.D. Drew. His average isn’t there yet, but the power is. Pick him up if you need an outfielder, and ride him till he gets hurt again. There might be a $14 million home run in it for you.
When the season began, I was skeptical of the A’s rotation. Why anyone would doubt Billy Beane is beyond me, but there I was. Brett Anderson? If he can’t be scared of the Red Sox, then who can he be scared of? This is why you shouldn’t draft starting pitching. You can always find guys like this.
Seth Smith has ugly numbers, but he is getting on base. That will keep him in the lineup while he figures out which end of the bat to hold. If you don’t have room for him, don’t add him, but keep an eye out and see how he’s hitting.
If you’re not in a league that punishes strikeouts (most aren’t), Mike Jacobs is quietly having a good year. Even when he gets a day off, he comes in and hits a PH home run.
Placido Polanco is still available in many leagues, and he can be a catalyst for many teams. If you have a lot of power guys, someone like Polanco can help your batting average. Really, he should be a required handcuff if you draft Ryan Howard.

Glen Perkins hasn’t won a game yet, but that will change. Dating back to 1990 and Scott Erickson, the Twins always have a starting pitcher that nobody notices.
Adrian Beltre has been gimpy, and honestly, you screwed up if you drafted him in the first place. You can try to trade him if you want, but in most leagues you might as well just drop him. Why not pick up Elijah Dukes, who is now starting after Lastings Milledge was optioned to AAA?
Darren Oliver will take Nick Adenhart‘s spot in the rotation.

Travis Snider is for real. He’s likely still available in your league, and you should jump on him. He won’t be batting ninth for long.
With Jed Lowrie on the DL, Nick Green will take over, although ultimately this job could go to Julio Lugo when he returns.
DeWayne Wise may not be back till June. This gives a starting job to Brian Anderson.
If Tom Glavine is really hurt, then Jo-Jo Reyes will replace him in the rotation.

If Ryan Theriot is still in your league, it’s time to add him. On the other hand, if you have Chris Davis, it might be time to give up on him.
Randy Wolf and Trevor Cahill are worth looking into.

Chris Coste is the starter with Carlos Ruiz on the DL.
With Scott Lewis on the DL, Jeremy Sowers will take his place in the starting rotation.

Hiroki Kuroda has oblique pain and is on the DL. Eric Stults will take his place.
Is Armando Galarraga still available? He quietly had double-digit wins for a last-place team in 2008 and looked great against the Rangers in the Tigers’ home opener.
Jose Guillen needs to do some Pilates after tearing his right hip flexor. While he is on the DL, expect Willie Bloomquist to replace him.
Ryan Doumit is getting a day off today.