Today's featured shit

Russell Branyan should be the starter at first base for the Mariners.
Rick Porcello should make the Tigers’ rotation at the expense of Nate Robertson.
Brett Gardner is the starting center fielder for the Yankees.
Chan Ho Park will be the fifth starter for the Phillies but should only be considered in NL-only leagues.
Jorge Cantu got the starting job at first, and Emilio Bonifacio will be the third baseman for the Marlins.
Brad Ziegler is closing for the A’s with Joey Devine out.
Cha Seung Baek is on the DL and will be replaced by Kevin Correia.
Sidney Ponson will be the fourth starter for the Royals but should be considered in AL-only leagues.
Emmanuel Burriss will start at second base for the Giants.

Brad Ziegler may start the season as the closer for the A’s because of Joey Devine‘s elbow problems.
Scott Downs won’t be a co-closer with B.J. Ryan, but he will receive significant opportunities to close this season.
Jason Bergmann will start the season at closer if Joel Hanrahan is not yet ready.
Daniel Murphy will bat second for the Mets. If Jose Reyes gets on, the distraction could give him some pitches to hit, and with David Wright batting third, he should score a lot of runs. Luis Castillo will now bat eighth.
Although Victor Martinez will play first base a lot, Kelly Shoppach is still not a good pick at catcher, because there is too much competition at DH, and he can’t play any other positions.

By now you’ve learned a few things, hopefully:

• Roles in baseball change every day.
• This column is not published every day.

Unlike my daily show, which records an episode, well, daily, there are a few things that make this column different from the show:

• If I miss a day because I am on vacation, there is no column.
• If nothing happened yesterday, there is no column. This will happen a lot in the offseason.
• This column is actually informative and entertaining, which the show is not.

Also, I only go back 24-48 hours in my reports. If enough of you legitimately use my column as your fantasy sports bible, I can go into greater detail when I skip days, but I just don’t see this to be the case. So with that established, let’s see what’s going on.

It’s often said not to waste high draft picks on starting pitching. Of course, it depends on what your fellow GMs do on draft day. Everyone is a good bargain at some point. But in general, you want to use those early picks on a shallow position, such as third base, shortstop or second base. Then, you can pay attention to your waiver wire, and pick up someone like Ricky Romero. If he has a quality start (6 IP or more, 3 ER or less), snatch him up. He’ll hurt your WHIP a bit, but he otherwise can create some nice fantasy numbers.

Brandon Morrow will close in Seattle. Kevin Gregg has beat out Carlos Marmol to do the same for the Cubs.
Carlos Villanueva will close in Milwaukee while Trevor Hoffman is out.

Brett Anderson and Trevor Cahill are the No. 4 and 5 starters for Oakland.
Anthony Reyes will be the No. 5 starter in Cleveland.
Ross Ohlendorf has made the Pirates’ starting rotation.