Today's featured shit

Not since Des’ree told us “I Ain’t Movin'” have we been notified of an artist’s whereabouts so specifically. This five-track EP seems short, considering that if she really isn’t goin’ anywhere then why couldn’t she record a full-length album in the process.

“Runaway” leads off, and it sounds as if she is singing into a megaphone, but it’s really clear that she isn’t. It sounds like that upbeat Christian rock you hear when you are scanning the lower end of the FM dial, looking for a good college station to listen to while on a road trip. (When you’re here, of course, scan a little higher, perhaps around 103.3.)

“Stay Here” is more of the same. It’s very slick and overproduced but not in the good Foo Fighters way. “Come Away” sounds like an Evanescence ripoff. There’s nothing wrong with having a mainstream pop sound, but if you’re going for pop it should not be a free pass to sing with no heart, although to be fair I wouldn’t know if she sang with heart because the producers took everything out. It’s like buying bleached flour. It is nothing like actual wheat.

“Will You Ever Change” is the single. It has to be. The tempo is different from the other tracks. The lyrics have some semblance of meaning. She sounds rejuvenated. She’s wearing the Colbie Caillat hat.

It ends with “Here’s to You My Friend,” a title that really needs a comma in it. This song is destined for a movie soundtrack, playing in the background during a forgotten scene in which the teenage girl protagonist changes her Facebook status message with tears in her eyes.
I don’t understand the point.

This is a compilation of electronic music. Centipede is first. Their song “Save Your Cool Soul” is stripped down and fun, although the lead singer sounds as if she is trying to be Madonna, which will make a lot of people happy, but not me.

Baconflex have Erasure vocals and Book of Love synths on “Jupiter Boy.” If they had called it “Jupiter Boy Pop,” they would have had me hooked. It’s still a good song with a modern feel. Violedy have a more early ’90s feel with “Claymore.” It sounds like something Sweetheart would do, or U2, I guess.

Fewfuzz gives us “Speak Love Tonight,” and it sounds like something you would play at an East San Jose high school dance to keep people from fighting over colors. The chorus goes “We are here to have some fun” and repeats itself many times. The music reminds me a bit of Robert Miles.

“I Got You” by Perfect North reminds me of Daft Punk or Information Society. “Something Strong” by Common Party sounds like Bauhaus. I mean, it REALLY sounds like Bauhaus. “Immersive” by Arco has a Beatmania IIdx feel to it. The kids call it “trance.”

Another reggae song about pot. This is a two-track single, whose B-side is the instrumental version of the song. I heard that these are now called “karaoke” versions. Whatever.

This is a classic “you already know whether you like this song” song.

No, not En Esch. Bang! Bang! Eche! They are from New Zealand. Old people will hear the keyboards and think of The Police. Kids will hear the same thing and think of The Killers. For once everyone is correct. It’s definitely not a unique sound, but it is of fill-in quality for what’s popular these days.

It’s a five-track EP, self-titled. “4 to the Floor” leads off quietly, a little bit Flock of Seagulls, a little bit David Bowie. “Time Mismanagement” has a bit of a Panic at the Disco feel to it. It’s a very likable song.

The guitar in “Nikee” has a bit of an Operation Makeout feel to it. Maybe if Jesse had spent more time singing in that act then this song would sound more like them. “(You & Me) as Thick as Thieves” sounds like a post-modern Talking Heads song, although the David Byrne portion of this analogy is not apt. Is this what they mean by shoegazer? “Fingers in the Till” is not about the BASH superstar of the same name. That’s Andrew Till. This song has a more electronic feel.

A band that does nothing but remind you of other acts is not remarkable, but never boring, either. This proves no exception.

Sea Sick needs a dictionary to show that “seasick” is one word and a lead singer to show that good guitar and drums are not sufficient to make a quality three-piece.

The lead singer wails too much all the time. She thinks she is the lead singer of Sleater-Kinney. She is not. “Radiant Heat” is one of several examples on this seven-track monstrosity.

“Black Cat” is a great name, and she almost, ALMOST, sounds like Kristin Hersh here. I could only hope. It’s really a shame that the best track on the album is buried at the end where no one will hear it.

“XX” has an electronic feel to it and also is worth a listen. Everything else on the album, though, is the bad half of Bob Marley and the Wailers.

This is the kind of stuff they must have listened to in the ’60s, when everyone was so wacked out of their gourd that everything sounded like the Beatles. This is shitty, and there’s nothing clever about the name.