Today's featured shit

I get all the husband/wife stuff to review. Some of it is just fun pop songs, like Imperial Teen. The whistling in “Crazy Crazy Insane” gets the album off to a good start. “Under Control” has the music one would expect from Peaches, but the lyrics are nowhere near as racy, and of course the vocals are male-dominated. Who says marriage is harmless? “Big Adventures” has the female vocals (but slightly offkey), and it adds up to something tangible. The percussion is trapped in 1990, but I like that. It delivers what it promises.
In other places, the focus wanders, and the album’s spirit trespasses all over the place. “Camera On” tries that Ting Tings thing that everyone is doing these days. Unfortunately, it comes off as a Human League type of song. I am not convinced that they would see this as a good thing, and this lack of passion leaves much to be desired here.
The rest of the album reminds me of Mad Happy with the bullshit slip-hop, bad rapping and misused beats. Who are they fooling? And it’s almost like they mock themselves naming a song “Cubic Zirconia.” That’s exactly what they are.

It’s an EP. The first track is “Briar-Rose” and sounds like a Coldplay knockoff. The liner notes are reversible (you’ll understand when you buy it), which is kind of neat.
The important thing is that this band is from Iowa. I think The Nadas are from out there. I like The Nadas better, but The Envy Corps are fine, too. It’s just a tough act to follow is all.
“Screen Test” sounds like a slightly controlled Flaming Lips song. It is somewhat forgettable. “The Cursing Choir” has a better name and pleasing vocals. If Paul Simon were 40 years younger, he’d be doing this kind of shit.
The title track is the best, which isn’t a big shock, but that it’s fourth out of five on the track listing is unusual. Don’t be fooled by this. This offering has the best accompaniment of any track and sounds like Man of the Year.
“The Dissenter” winds things up and takes seven minutes to do so. Well, not really. There’s a hidden track at the end. I guess this is for Nickelback or The Fray fans. It kind of sounds like “Crash” by Dave Matthews Band.

This could end up as my favorite album of 2009. “Orlando” has an early ’90s Book of Love feel. I wish it was released as a double single with eight remixes of it and “People in Pictures” so I could spend an hour consuming these tracks.
“Mobile” has a very sunny feel to it. I would prescribe doses of this song over antidepressants any day! Fans of Heavenly will like “Maul.”
“Fan Fiction” is another standout track. Fans of Manifold Splendour will indeed be chuffed to hear this continuation of the band’s style. There is also a bit of Julie Plug and Blake Babies here.
If you want something with male leads, “Fields” is the track for you. It’s also a good track and still has female backing vocals for those of you into that sort of thing.
This band’s personality shines from the album decor to the song titles. If they can make it out to California, I will call in every favor I can from everyone I know on Facebook and make them all attend the show. It’s truly one of the best albums I have heard in a long time.

Perhaps riding the coattails of Nous Non Plus’ success, Plastiscines visit us from the country that also brought us the Coneheads: France. It sounds exactly what a new modern rock record would sound like. Ferocious hooks and danceable oomph characterize this exhumation of Sahara Hotnights’ body. Sure, the furniture in the room has been modernized (backing harmonies on “Barcelona” are to die for), but it’s otherwise the same thing we’ve heard and loved before.
“Bitch” obviously will become the band’s anthem, which shortchanges them a bit, but such is life in the discerning music world. Music aficionados may hold themselves in high regard, but there is nothing glamorous about standing outside in the rain smoking a Camel Light and talking about how you’re going to spend Daddy’s money this month.
If you took a standard all-woman rock band and went in the Pipettes’ direction, you’d be on the opposite side of Plastiscines. Both succeed at their respective niches, but they are quite different. And while a pipe may bring water from the river to your house, plasticine makes you Gumby.
“You’re No Good” is a Linda Ronstadt cover. The passion that made the original so great is lacking in this version, which has about as much power as “T.K.O.” by Le Tigre. In other words, it’s a disappointment on an otherwise solid effort.
This band can’t spell, whether it’s the name of the band itself or songs such as “Runnaway.” To me, it all adds up to a band that looks good live, and who cares what they sound like? I hope they’re saving their money, or else they will go down the same path as Republica.

Why did I pick this album? There’s nothing wrong with it. They’re another indie rock band, this time from Detroit. The songs have good harmonies and musicianship. But nothing really stands out to me. We get 20 CDs like this in the mail every week. There’s no shortage of good man rock out there.
“Howl at the Moon” is a bit catchier than the rest. It’s the kind of stuff you can listen to with your girlfriend. The keyboards make it better. “It’s Going to Be O.K.” uses a ’70s-style organ. Maybe I have trouble getting into this because it reminds me of my parents, but my psychiatric review has already been written today.
“I Don’t Need Anything Except You” reminds me of “Singing in My Sleep” by Semisonic. It just moves along, the same way as the carpool lane moves during rush hour. It feels a lot faster than it really is. And after two minutes and 12 seconds, it’s over.
“Setting Sun” sounds like a Better Than Ezra song, but I guess they all do. “Time of My Life” is the last track and causes me to say “good riddance.” Really, it’s not that bad, and if this album were a beer, it would be Budweiser: predictable and secretly owned by a company in Europe.

How do you not compare this to Julia Lau? I mean, it’s an Asian woman playing a piano and several other instruments. Well, it’s more likely that Tran can play tien len, and that’s the tiebreaker in my awesomeness hierarchy.
One of the reasons I have a lot of respect for her (really, that first paragraph is a sign of respect, honest) is because she took on music late in life, at 21. Maybe she had the same problem as a child that I did, meaning her mom told her she couldn’t sing and had no musical talent. I’m very happy that she decided to take up singing and performing, regardless of what motivated her to do it. It’s a rare regret that I have, instead being relegated to writing about others’ exploits. Well, there’s always Rock Band.
(Writing can be therapeutic as well as transparent. See?)
Perhaps her happy ending is because she is actually from Edmonton, and when she realized that her hockey team was no good, she decided to move to the Bay Area so she could follow a real team. Maybe she will get to sing the national anthem at a Sharks game if Greg Kihn can’t stay up that late.
There’s so many nice things to say about Tran the person. (You should see the one sheet and letter. Why can’t every promoter do it this way? And she is self-promoting! She should consider this as a career, but I bet she has a day job at Lockheed or some shit and makes six figures as a project manager.) But what about Tran the singer/songwriter? I like that aspect of her as well.
“Kites” is fun. It sounds like Aimee Mann. “All” is a bit silly at the end. And I love silly. But it doesn’t really work here. I think her music is naturally serious, so it merely detracts. Perhaps she should make a double album so she can then indulge in her whims as appropriate.
“Love Underwater” is ear candy. This is one you need the headphones for to truly appreciate. The keyboards and cello (is it?) augment the song nicely. This might be the best song on the album. “Trust Me” has the same piano as “Brick” by Ben Folds Five.
The other inevitable piano analogy is going to be the one with Suddenly, Tammy. Generally, Tran does not sound the same as them because she plays the guitar. But for fans of that sound, “Cannot Reach You” will please you greatly.
The tracks at the end are usually the experimental ones, and that’s no different here. “Safety Nets” has more of a Barbara Manning feel. If she wants to go in this direction, she’ll be just as successful. The talent level is undeniable on almost the entire album.

Well, this is fun. Is Minneapolis the new Portland? First Sick of Sarah and now The Shortcuts. It’s what would happen if Dance Hall Crashers stopped pretending to be ska and got rid of their ginging guitars. “Nothing New” is the first track and epitomizes pop punk. “Alienist” does the same thing.
This is an EP, by the way. I’d sure like to hear a full-length. “Omaha” sounds like a Go Betty Go song, although it’s less melodic and sassy. It’s too cold for sass up there anyway. And I’m sure the band is thrilled that Brett Favre stayed retired.
“Die Young” is a standard Fat Wreck Chords punk song, even though this EP is self-released. And “Ghost” exists so there can be five tracks. Maybe I don’t want a full-length. If they can bottle the energy of the first two tracks and make a whole album out of it, The Shortcuts will really be on to something.

This is great stuff. And if you’re wondering, it’s pronounced “dough.” “Playground Hustle” sounds like a happy Le Tigre song, sort of a “Friendship Station” without the sneer. “At Last” sounds like newer Cardigans, but not in an insulting way.
Other tracks remind me of another ’90s band: Ruby. Although this band is much more chipper than they were, the voice is the same. “The Bridge Is Broken” is a good example of this. So is “Tammie.”
The band is French, by the way. So I am guessing that that is the language “Unissassi Laulelet.” It has a similar style to Petra Haden’s “Moonmilk,” except with instruments thrown in.
Perhaps 15 tracks was too many. A few of these songs should have been relegated for EP B-sides. I’m talkin’ to you, “On My Shoulders” and “Aha.”
If you stick with the better songs, there’s something for everyone, especially if you came of age in the mid-90s or are a fan of Evanescence.

It’s an EP. Five tracks. “Disco Biscuit Love” is aptly named and has the same melody as a recent Top 40 hit. Not “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry but one of her equally gifted contemporaries. “Be a Star” has a more Killers feel to it, but the vocals are a bit strained. “Electric Lover” has piano like Keane, but the lyrics again come on a little strong. You’d think I’d like that, but somehow the flavors are not working together. “Old Little Girls” has the musical styling of Meat Loaf, and the lyrics are a little more subdued here. The piano works a lot better here, like in a Suddenly, Tammy song. “Unmarked Helicopters” is the last track. The mixing is done better on this one as well, and the song itself is better, if you like snare drums.

Oh, it’s one of those albums. Like Emily Lord, you worry because the lead singer is married and claims to sing folk music, but then you listen, and you realize that it’s much better than that. Maybe, just maybe, she sings a little better than Emily Lord, but that’s like arguing about Coke and Pepsi: If you only like one, you’re just fooling yourself. As Bloodhound Gang said, “Pepsi Challenge/took it; lost.”
“Until the Day Dims” raises expectations sky high as the leadoff track. You don’t even need to bunt the runner over, because it’s a triple every time. Maybe a suicide squeeze is in order? It’s as if Azure Ray were reincarnated. Maybe The Woodlands will play a $15 Nickel City show too. I wouldn’t put it past promoter Eric Fanali. He’s that good.
So this album is slow but not plodding. The singer has a delicate voice, the kind you wrap in newspaper before shipping, because God knows what the people at the U.S. Postal Service are going to do with it. “Can We Stay” is a great example of this. So is “Day to Day.” And “Summerland.” That one really is in a class by itself with the bells. Oh, the bells.