Today's featured shit

The recording quality sucks ass. If you can get past that, this is a nice little earner, but it would be helpful if you were listening to this in the background so the distortion is not so noticeable.

Elizabeth Willis sings and plays the piano. Someone else drums and does the other stuff. If she can be a studmuffin at the guitar she could play at farmers markets. “4am” is a typical example of what she can do. Singing and piano-ing, with strings in the background. It’s not Tori Amos. It’s more contemporary than that.

“Thoughts” has an above-average chorus. The piano also reminds me of Tricia Concepcion. “(In) Love” is the opposite of Tomb Raider. This song sounds the most like a single, although this album definitely does not waste time on manufacturing radio-friendly songs.

Most of the songs have the same tempo, but “Blackbird” is a little faster. It’s not better, just faster. It reminds me of Emily Lord.

Hey, it’s on Fat Wreck. It doesn’t mean what it used to, but you should still expect good things when something is from Fat Wreck Chords. Dead to Me have their Foo Fighters moments, such as on “What’s Wrong.” This EP is a something-for-everyone pseudo punk album.

“Don’t Wanna” starts things off with a driving song that sounds like a cover of a Japanese punk song. Like most covers, it is not as good as the original, and the problem here is that no original exists.

“Arrhythmic Palpitations” and “Little Brother” kind of blend into the background. Every time I listen to them I get distracted. And suddenly it’s “Ran That Scam.”

“Ran That Scam” is the best album. It’s not overly complicated, but it is easy to listen to and sounds like a hell of a lot of fun to play. It also has that Foo Fighters feel I mentioned earlier.

This is yet another silly rock album for people that enjoy the relevance of being irreverent. It’s not my cup of tea, but Megapuss would be better served if they were ground up and percolated anyway.

“Crop Circle Jerk ’94” is no “Pop Song ’89.” I like the horns at the beginning, but the title is so fun that the song just falls flat in general because of the inflated expectations. It’s fine, I guess.

“Duck People Duck Man” is cute. This is the one the kids will like. It has a guy talking in a funny voice about stereotypes, duck ones specifically. I am sure there are inside jokes abound in this song, but even without getting them, it’s still fun. I mean, it talks about hummus, for crying out loud.

I like “A Gun on His Hip and a Rose on His Chest,” although there is a ton of swearing in it, for those of you scoring at home, goddammit. Very thought-provoking lyrics though.

These guys are very Japanese. They should not be confused with your run-of-the-mill Japanese punk bands. These guys actually have most of their songs be under two minutes. Musically, it sounds like a lot of American noise bands.

“Ladykiller” reminds me of “Berserker” by Olaf in “Clerks.” You know. The one in which the woman says, “Did he just say ‘making fuck’?” Similarly, I can’t tell whether there is swearing in “Ladykiller,” either, but it sounds like it.

“Besame My Love” also attempts to be vulgar, and honestly, it’s worth a listen just to hear him sing the word “penis.” Fans of Convalescent Surprise will love this one. Lots of tempo change, alternating thrash and yelling with quiet balladeering. In “Ki=Chinchin” they sing “Take Off Your Pants,” making the song an ideal candidate for a future “No Pants” compilation.

“www.porno.net” is another song with sneaky lyrics. It’s hard to understand but then you hear “lesbian.” Yep. I also like “II” because he sings a bunch of numbers in a row. I don’t think that is what they mean by “math rock.”

This sort of reminds me of Cirque du Soleil music. A lot of instruments that are foreign to me, such as cellos, harps and other instruments that aren’t pianos, keyboards, guitars and drums. (But they have most of those, too.) The result is very beautiful music that will languish in the background if you let it.

“Let the Crows Fly” is a real Point A to Point B song. It reminds me of the Cranes, only with fewer keyboards and a more normal singer. It’s not gothic, but fans of the genre would enjoy this temple-sounding music.

“Bee Forms” has a similar melody to “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy. I am not sure who thought of this first, but it wasn’t me. The whole song doesn’t use this melody; it’s more than seven minutes long. But stick it out long enough, and you too will be both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor.

“Desert Mind” makes good use of the organ (or is it an accordion?) to play with your mind. This is definitely an album that would sound different under the influence of illegal substances.

I refer to the underwear I wear when I am getting some as “victory shorts.” Not really, but I think I will now. Absentee are quite present on this full-length offering of standard modern rock fare, reminiscent of mainstream Sebadoh, only with fleeting female backing vocals.

“The Nurses Don’t Notice a Thing” has great back-and-forth jangly guitar and vocals. I don’t know what the song is about, but it’s a lot of fun. I would love to play this on Rock Band. It’s just so smooth and easy.

Sometimes the lead singer gets a little carried away with his gravelly voice, however. “Love Has Had Its Way” is almost a little too dry and scratchy, like those towels in the motel room in the Verizon Wireless commercial. “We Smash Plates” sounds like the same song. They are both ballads, but they are also indistinguishable.

I am happiest with Melinda Bronstein’s backing vocals. They complement the lead singer’s voice well but also would stand alone if given the chance.

Other than uneven singing and quirky songwriting, this album is just fine. Unfortunately, this is a singer/songwriter.

Frida Hyvonen sounds as if she is trying too hard on “Silence Is Wild.” Strangely, the most memorable song shows a lack of effort. Listen to “Dirty Dancing” and then “Pork and Beans” by Weezer. The melodies are the same! I am pretty sure this is a coincidence. The song itself is actually pretty heartfelt and will remind some of Paula Cole.

“Why Do You Love Me So Much” is a soul-baring song, so I really oughtn’t be critical of it. Must. Resist. The. Urge. OK. There it goes. “Scandinavian Blonde” is sort of flirty, but I think that, considering there is an umlaut in her last name, it’s a bit over the top. It’s as if she is asking for us to compare her to Ikea. I refuse.

“Birds” is the best song on the album. It sounds like an old Patti Smyth song, only with keyboards. I’d like to hear more like this. The rest of the songs sound dangerously similar, with a ton of piano. The melody of “Oh Shanghai” sounds like a standard Chinese melody. Maybe Weezer was a coincidence, but this isn’t.

This is a fun toned-down rockabilly album. Mad Tea Party feature ukulele and good times on “Found a Reason.” “I Never Was a Cool One” is a fun track, although on iTunes you may see it listed as “I Was Never a Cool One.” No matter what you want to call it, dig the lyrics.

“Waltz of Despair” reminds me of Neko Case, specifically her song “Jettison.” We all need more waltzes in life. The title track has a ’60s Mamas and Papas feel to it. “Blues Slip In” has nice poppy backing vocals. It also does a good job as the first track, because it gives a general overview of what the rest of the album will sound like.

“Bombs” is a good choice if you want to hear Jason Krekel instead of Ami Worthen, who is a capable singer and ukeslinger but could stand to benefit from learning how to spell her first name correctly.

Speaking of Worthen, “I Went Out” is Mad Tea Party at their best. Worthen sings with confidence, and the backing harmonies make for a good time.

Nothing really distinguishes Future Clouds and Radar from anything else out these days. The music reminds me of Hootie and the Blowfish, although the singing is much better. “Old Edmund Ruffin” must be about 30, because it makes me think of The Wallflowers. There’s definitely a lot trapped in the ’90s on “Peoria.”

The piano on “Feet on Grass” and Beatles-inspired singing definitely make this one of the better tracks on the album. “Eighteen Months” introduces horns but not much else. “The Mortal” is good for fans of Morrissey’s music but not his singing. This track could be on “Vauxhall and I.” Maybe it’s a cover.

“Mortal 926” has a more gothic feel and is my favorite track. It also has no lyrics. If the entire album sounded like this, no one would care about the stupid economy. It slowly builds to a substantial treat for the ears. It could even be used on one of those ’80s cop shows, like “Magnum, She Wrote” or “Hill Street Vice.”

“Follow the Crane” picks up the rear and is an unassuming end to an unassuming album. There’s really nothing wrong with this album, but not much goes “whiz bang” either. Maybe you have to be drunk first.

Holy crap Peachcake sound exactly like Ming & Ping. Is it becoming a genre? That would rule. This is synthy post-modern ’80s-style Depeche Mode on crack. One listen is all you need. There’s no selling here. You’ll either like it, or you won’t.

This band shares another trendy trait, this one with Fall Out Boy. The tracks are all many words long. One example is “Did I Just Do That, or Was It Jim Carrey?” My favorite title is “Stop Acting Like You Know More About the Internet Cafe Than Me.”

“Make Movement, Not War” could have been the next logical step after Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, but sadly, it did not work out that way. But it definitely offers that same electro-pop feel. Maybe with a little bit of Billy Idol too. Maybe.

“Need Room? We Have Space! (December 22nd.)” has female backing vocals, about the only thing a lot of the other tracks are missing. It’s not overpowering, though, promise. It’s definitely more stripped down than most of the songs on this album.

If you want happier, almost 8-bit-video-game-style, beats, give “The Song of the Century!” a try. It resembles some late ’80s game that I can’t think of at the moment.